I realize it's been a looooooooooooooooong time since I have posted anything. I came back about a month ago, and thought it seemed kind of silly to start blogging again after such a long lapse, so I didn't post anything at that time. However, my sister informs me that this is perfectly acceptable, and that she is awaiting my update. First I had to catch up with some old friends and see how their bloggin' is going. Seems I'm the only one who fell into the pit of nothing to write. I've just been in this blah world where everything seems too trivial when I go to type it for the world to see. Even more so now. In the past month I've found out that my mom has breast cancer (thank goodness hers is a pretty good prognosis) and my close friend has stage 3 lung cancer (not so good prognosis). There is a whole heap of tragedy that goes with that, that I can't even bring myself to talk about right now.
In my absence I've made some major changes in my life. Both external and internal. Let's cover the big external first. My sister, the one without kids, had her first baby and we agreed to watch him full time while she works. I say we, because with the kids at home they help a lot. It's actually been amazing to see them interact with the baby. Over the summer we decided to move out of our rental and in with my dad so that we can save up to buy a house. Dh and I got on a really good diet and exercise regimen, then with the move it all fell apart. We are back to eating better, the holidays were a mess in that department, but finding room/time to workout has been impossible. I really want to get back into it, I felt soooo good, and my headaches were totally gone. They've come back a bit, but are manageable. My daughter turned 10. AHHHHHH! Double digits! She's still a kid at heart tho ;) And my son is now 7. Em is still skating, twice a week this year and we are talking about private lessons. Patch is doing boy scouts and is really enjoying it. Other then that we keep up with our friends in the local HS group, and have even been hanging out with our old friends from when we moved 3 (?) years ago.
The internal changes are not so easy to describe. I feel like I've finally figured out the person I want to be. I'm what 35 now, guess it's time I figured that out. I know it sounds cliche, but I feel like those sayings like "don't sweat the small stuff" finally sank in. Like really sank in, on a fundamental level. I got a really good look at the big picture, with out all the shit in the way. All the shit is still there, it just no longer matters. It's not like I no longer care about anything, if anything I care more. . .just about the right stuff (which I always cared about) and I no longer about the crap, the small stuff. UGH, I don't feel like I'm describing this right. At any rate. . .I feel much more focused. I wouldn't say happier. . .happy is a funny thing. Happy comes and goes in life, I don't see it as something one can obtain and keep constant. I would however say that I'm moving in the direction of contentment. And despite the incredible sadness, and excitement, and anger, and happiness, I feel there is this underlying peace.
In my absence I've made some major changes in my life. Both external and internal. Let's cover the big external first. My sister, the one without kids, had her first baby and we agreed to watch him full time while she works. I say we, because with the kids at home they help a lot. It's actually been amazing to see them interact with the baby. Over the summer we decided to move out of our rental and in with my dad so that we can save up to buy a house. Dh and I got on a really good diet and exercise regimen, then with the move it all fell apart. We are back to eating better, the holidays were a mess in that department, but finding room/time to workout has been impossible. I really want to get back into it, I felt soooo good, and my headaches were totally gone. They've come back a bit, but are manageable. My daughter turned 10. AHHHHHH! Double digits! She's still a kid at heart tho ;) And my son is now 7. Em is still skating, twice a week this year and we are talking about private lessons. Patch is doing boy scouts and is really enjoying it. Other then that we keep up with our friends in the local HS group, and have even been hanging out with our old friends from when we moved 3 (?) years ago.
The internal changes are not so easy to describe. I feel like I've finally figured out the person I want to be. I'm what 35 now, guess it's time I figured that out. I know it sounds cliche, but I feel like those sayings like "don't sweat the small stuff" finally sank in. Like really sank in, on a fundamental level. I got a really good look at the big picture, with out all the shit in the way. All the shit is still there, it just no longer matters. It's not like I no longer care about anything, if anything I care more. . .just about the right stuff (which I always cared about) and I no longer about the crap, the small stuff. UGH, I don't feel like I'm describing this right. At any rate. . .I feel much more focused. I wouldn't say happier. . .happy is a funny thing. Happy comes and goes in life, I don't see it as something one can obtain and keep constant. I would however say that I'm moving in the direction of contentment. And despite the incredible sadness, and excitement, and anger, and happiness, I feel there is this underlying peace.
